Steven Spielberg did a wonderful job in educating people about the term “E.T.”. Say E.T. to a group of ppl between the ages of 30 and above, chances are they will visualize the cute looking extra terrestrial on the left.
Using the same acronym, I would like to introduce Emotional Terrorist. I am unable to find a concrete definition for Emotional Terrorist, other than Errin Pizzey who wrote a book with the title “The Emotional Terrorist”. There are many articles on Emotional Terrorist on the Internet but I have neither the time nor the patience to read through ALL. I thought to myself, why don’t I define what is an E.T. (not the cute looking alien).
In my opinion, an Emotional Terrorist is a person who is adept in coercing other people’s decision making process by resorting, intentionally or otherwise, to physical actions or verbal statements or total inaction that will emotionally traumatize the other person in order to gain a favourable outcome.
Scenario 1:
A young child throws a tantrum, in an empty toy store, when the parent refuses to buy a toy for the child. The parent physically punishes the child for throwing a tantrum as the shopkeeper and the assistants are staring at the young child and the parent.
Scenario 2:
A young child throws a tantrum, in an empty toy store, when the parent refuses to buy a toy for the child. The parent gave a verbal warning to the young child to behave or be punished. The young child behaves.
Scenario 3:
A young child throws a tantrum, in an empty toy store, when the parent refuses to buy a toy for the child. The parent did nothing but to allow the child to bawl.
Each scenario is similar in the sense that:
There is a typical young child and a parent shopping in a typical empty toy store. And typically, the typical parent refuses to buy the typical young child a toy. However, what is interesting is there are three different outcomes:
* Physical punishment
* Verbal punishment
* Total inaction
What to do when you encounter an Emotional Terrorist? Should you run? Should you challenge the E.T? In my opinion, it is necessary to find out E.T.’s root of the problem. In order words, engage E.T. in a conversation to find out his / her actual needs. If E.T. is not feeling chatty, choose a better time to communicate about it (face to face, over the phone, email, texting, and etc).
Using the same acronym, I would like to introduce Emotional Terrorist. I am unable to find a concrete definition for Emotional Terrorist, other than Errin Pizzey who wrote a book with the title “The Emotional Terrorist”. There are many articles on Emotional Terrorist on the Internet but I have neither the time nor the patience to read through ALL. I thought to myself, why don’t I define what is an E.T. (not the cute looking alien).
In my opinion, an Emotional Terrorist is a person who is adept in coercing other people’s decision making process by resorting, intentionally or otherwise, to physical actions or verbal statements or total inaction that will emotionally traumatize the other person in order to gain a favourable outcome.
Scenario 1:
A young child throws a tantrum, in an empty toy store, when the parent refuses to buy a toy for the child. The parent physically punishes the child for throwing a tantrum as the shopkeeper and the assistants are staring at the young child and the parent.
Scenario 2:
A young child throws a tantrum, in an empty toy store, when the parent refuses to buy a toy for the child. The parent gave a verbal warning to the young child to behave or be punished. The young child behaves.
Scenario 3:
A young child throws a tantrum, in an empty toy store, when the parent refuses to buy a toy for the child. The parent did nothing but to allow the child to bawl.
Each scenario is similar in the sense that:
There is a typical young child and a parent shopping in a typical empty toy store. And typically, the typical parent refuses to buy the typical young child a toy. However, what is interesting is there are three different outcomes:
* Physical punishment
* Verbal punishment
* Total inaction
What to do when you encounter an Emotional Terrorist? Should you run? Should you challenge the E.T? In my opinion, it is necessary to find out E.T.’s root of the problem. In order words, engage E.T. in a conversation to find out his / her actual needs. If E.T. is not feeling chatty, choose a better time to communicate about it (face to face, over the phone, email, texting, and etc).
If you thought that the young child was the E.T. for the above scenarios, you are partially correct. If you thought the parent was the E.T., you are partially correct as well. Because both the child and the parent was the E.T. Think about it.
Are you E.T.?
Are you E.T.?
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